Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The linear chart compares the figures of jobs in four different field of the economy in the United States from year 1960 to 2020. The data has been measured in numbers( in millions )
As an overview, it is evident that in year 2000 work in the sector of retail overtook manufacturing sector and become the largest category. Meanwhile, agriculture sector grew considerably over the time, however, heath care sector experienced a considerable drop in the time period of 60 years. Moreover, by the end of the period health care sector in the term of jobs represented the lowest segment.
At the beginning of the period, manufacturing was the dominant employer, accounting for 15 million jobs in 1960. This figure rose markedly to a peak of 20 million in 1980, before declining steadily to 17 million in 2000 and eventually falling to around 13 million by 2020. By contrast, employment in the retail sector experienced uninterrupted growth throughout the period. Starting at 6 million jobs in 1960, it climbed gradually to 10 million in 1980, surged to 15 million in 2000, and edged up to approximately 16 million in the final year, thereby overtaking manufacturing to become the largest employ.
A contrasting pattern can be observed in agriculture and healthcare. Employment in agriculture followed a downward trajectory, dropping sharply from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. It then remained stable until 2000 before slipping slightly to just 2 million by the end of the period, making it the smallest employment sector. In contrast, the healthcare industry recorded substantial and consistent growth. The number of jobs more than doubled from 2 million to 5 million between 1960 and 1980, rose significantly to 11 million in 2000, and continued its upward trend to approximately 16 million in 2020, matching the retail sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have provided a clear overview and successfully identified the main trends and key features of the data. You made relevant comparisons between sectors, such as noting the crossover between manufacturing and retail, and the contrasting paths of agriculture and healthcare. However, there is a significant factual error in your overview and body paragraph: you stated that the healthcare sector experienced a 'considerable drop' and was the 'lowest segment' by the end of the period, whereas the data shows it grew from 2 million to 16 million, becoming the largest sector alongside retail. This misinterpretation of the data negatively impacts the accuracy of your summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. You use a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'meanwhile', 'by contrast', and 'thereby', which help guide the reader through the data. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related information. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, though the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section slightly disrupt the logical flow of the analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for describing trends, such as 'rose markedly', 'declining steadily', 'surged', and 'downward trajectory'. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'largest employ' (should be 'largest employer') and 'field of the economy' (should be 'sectors of the economy'). Despite these minor slips, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly and with some precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with generally good control. There are some minor grammatical errors, such as 'in year 2000' (should be 'in the year 2000') and 'heath care' (spelling error). Additionally, 'in the time period of 60 years' is slightly awkward. However, these errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your punctuation is generally accurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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