Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The rendered linear graph illustrate the information with reference to the different jobs in 4 various areas of the wealth in the nation of the United States from the year 1996 to 2020.
Overall,it is crystal clear that the maximum number of the jobs witnessed in the retail sector however, the lowest number of jobs accounted in the agricultural department.
In detail analysis, in the year 1960 15 millions jobs were shows in the manufacturing department however it was increased to 20 million after 20 years. While,the number of the jobs went down to 13 million in the final year. Moving further, around 6 million of works accounted in the retail sector in 1960 whilst, it inclined to 15 million in the year 2000 Moreover, it shows slightly difference and reached hovered around 16 million in the final year.
Furthermore, in the agricultural department around 6 million jobs were shows and it declined to 3 million in the given last year. Whereas, 2 million of jobs were in the healthcare industry in 1960 and it gradually inclined to hovered around 10 million in 2000 and reached to 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, the retail sector does not consistently have the 'maximum number of jobs' throughout the period, as manufacturing starts higher. The data reporting is generally accurate, but the analysis lacks a clear comparison between sectors at specific time points, which is necessary for a higher band. The summary is functional but could be more precise in highlighting the most significant shifts over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In detail analysis', and 'Furthermore'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'In detail analysis' instead of 'In more detail'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing is occasionally repetitive, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, overview, and body details.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'areas of the wealth' instead of 'economic sectors' and 'department' used repeatedly to refer to industries. Phrases like 'inclined to hovered around' demonstrate a lack of control over collocation and register. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks the precision required for higher bands. Spelling is generally accurate, but the word choice often feels unnatural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('15 millions jobs were shows', 'it shows slightly difference') and incorrect verb forms ('it was increased', 'it inclined to hovered'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. The writer attempts complex structures, but they are often faulty, indicating a need for more focus on basic grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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