Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates jobs in millions in four sectors of the economy in US. Jobs include manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

Although jobs in retail and healthcare increases during the period of [redacted phone] however, the field of manufacturing had a continues downfall after 1980 but before 1980 the highest jobs are in this field. More ever agriculture never had came into the market enough and decreases with the time.

In the year 2020 retail and healthcare were too much in. People used to get in these fields because there were alot of health issues and people are anaware of these problems and their solutions.

With the time as they came to know about the importance of health people rapidly came in this job field. Because nothing is more than health, due to this people of US had forgotten about the other fields and in result they faced alot of problems related to manufacturing and agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to provide a clear overview of the trends and lacks a systematic comparison of the data. While it mentions the four sectors, the analysis is superficial and relies on personal speculation (e.g., 'people are unaware of these problems') rather than reporting the data provided in the graph. The description of trends is inaccurate; for instance, the claim that agriculture 'never had came into the market enough' is not supported by the visual data. The response lacks the necessary focus on key features and data points required for an Academic Task 1 report, resulting in a failure to adequately address the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often inappropriate or mechanical, such as the misuse of 'Although' and 'however' in the same sentence. Referencing is unclear, and the transition between ideas is disjointed. The second paragraph introduces external opinions rather than focusing on the data, which disrupts the flow of the report. The overall structure does not facilitate a clear summary of the information presented in the graph.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'continues downfall' instead of 'continuous decline' and 'too much in' to describe growth. The student relies on basic, repetitive language and struggles to use academic terminology appropriate for describing trends (e.g., 'rapidly came in this job field'). These lexical deficiencies occasionally make the intended meaning difficult to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with verb tense consistency (e.g., 'increases' instead of 'increased'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are poorly formed, such as 'agriculture never had came into the market enough'. Complex structures are attempted but are almost always inaccurate. Punctuation is also inconsistent, and the lack of control over basic grammar significantly affects the readability of the text.

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