Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates information of manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare categories of jobs in US from 1960 to 2020. Those jobs are given in millions.
Overall, jobs in healthcare sector have sharply rise in the given time period. Although, agriculture jobs have steadily drop over the 60-year period. In the US, manufacturing sector has the highest amounts of jobs in 1960 as it was 15 million which then gradually increase to 20 million in 1980.
Jobs in healthcare sector has slightly increase between 1960 and 1980. Then it has a dramatical increase throughout the remainder of the period and it peaked at 16 million. However, there was 6 million in agriculture side in the beginning. Thereafter, it gradually decreased to 3 million as it remained steadily till 2000 and then hit a low of 2 million in the end.
After the increasement of jobs in manufacturing side it was dropped to 13 million between 1980 and 2020. Meanwhile, retail sector has also dramatically climb from 1980 to 2000 and then it slightly increased in the remainder years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and sometimes inaccurate. For example, you state manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980, but the graph shows it peaking earlier. Additionally, the description of the retail sector is vague, and the overall summary lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant changes. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited precisely and that the 'main features' are highlighted more effectively in the overview.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'However', 'Thereafter', and 'Meanwhile', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the body paragraphs could be improved by grouping the information more logically (e.g., grouping sectors by their growth or decline patterns rather than jumping between them). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sharply rise', 'steadily drop', and 'dramatical increase'. However, there are several instances of incorrect word forms and non-standard collocations, such as 'increasement' (should be 'increase'), 'dramatical' (should be 'dramatic'), and 'climb' (used as a verb where a noun or different structure is needed). These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the score as they show a lack of precision in word choice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. Examples include 'healthcare sector has sharply rise' (should be 'has risen'), 'agriculture jobs have steadily drop' (should be 'have steadily dropped'), and 'it remained steadily' (should be 'remained steady'). These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these slips prevents the response from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.