Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates the information about the US economy by the amount of work growth in four areas around the year 1960 and 2020.
To begin with, healthcare jobs was around 3 million and they were slightly increased to 5 in 1980. However, the demand in doctoral field sharply inclined above 10 million in the next 12 years and reached 16 myriad in 2 decades. On the contrary, agricultural field srarted from 6 million profit in 1960 whereas the demand got declined below 5 million in 1980. Hence, they were stable for the next years till 2000 but again dropped less than the previous benefit in 2020.
However, In US, jobs in retail market earned around 6 million in the started phase and the market boomed through all the years with huge amount of job opportunities till 2020. Apart from this, manufacturing companies were ahead of all other jobs, the number of employment were almost 15 million in 1960 and it was fast increased to 20 million in 1980. Despite of that, they all face downward trend with the decline rate of 5 million to 15 million in the upcoming years.
Overall, the most fast grown job was in manufacturing company in 1960 and the least was in health sector but as time passed, the tables turned.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in manufacturing. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, using '16 myriad' is confusing and inaccurate, and the description of the manufacturing sector's peak is imprecise. The overview is present but could be more analytical by highlighting the most significant shifts rather than just stating that 'tables turned'. To improve, ensure that data points are clearly linked to the years provided in the graph and avoid vague terminology like 'started phase' or 'benefit'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'Apart from this' and 'Despite of that' are used in ways that do not always logically connect the sentences. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the comparison between sectors is vague. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the flow of ideas become more natural and logical.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate to convey the main points, but there are significant issues with word choice and collocation. Terms like 'amount of work growth', 'doctoral field', and '16 myriad' are either unnatural or mathematically incorrect in this context. There is also a tendency to use words like 'profit' or 'benefit' when referring to job numbers, which is inaccurate. To reach a higher band, focus on using precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a downward trend', and avoid non-standard numerical expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('healthcare jobs was', 'number of employment were'), incorrect preposition usage ('In US'), and awkward phrasing ('the market boomed through all the years'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors prevent the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
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