Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given picture illustrates the information about the number of employment in the US in four sectors of the economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, It can be seen that Healthcare booms to top over the period nevertheless Retail sector and Healthcare department had same in the last year. On the other hand, Manufacturing and Agriculture jobs reduced over the time.
In 1960 Manufacturing companies had 15 millions emloyees then it rises to 20 million in 1980 but after 1980 they wolud reduced constantly and holds around 13 millions people in 2020. The Agriculture department has 6 millions job holders in the starting year and they went falling down over all the time.
On the other hand, Healthcare and Retail sectors has strong reputation to building new jobs for the people because they constantly rise their employment over the time as in 1960 Healthcare and Retail department had 2 millions and 6 millions jobs respectively and in 2020 they are on same amount of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the statement that Healthcare and Retail are 'on same amount of jobs' in 2020 is a good observation, but the description of the Manufacturing trend is slightly inaccurate regarding the specific figures. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated. To improve, ensure that the data points selected are precise and that the comparison between sectors is more analytical rather than just listing numbers. The response addresses the prompt adequately but lacks the depth required for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. There is a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'on the other hand' and 'over the time'. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more naturally. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'booms to top', 'department' (when referring to sectors), and 'holds around 13 millions people'. The student relies on basic terminology and struggles with accurate phrasing for statistical trends. To reach a higher band, the student should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a downward trend', and ensure correct usage of pluralisation and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'number of employment' (should be 'number of employees' or 'employment levels'), 'they wolud reduced' (incorrect tense and modal usage), and 'they constantly rise their employment' (should be 'increased'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency are problematic throughout the text. The student needs to focus on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading to ensure that tense usage matches the time frame described.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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