Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The rendered linear graph illustrates the data about the number of employment in four distinct sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020
Overall, it is evident that over the period of time retail and healthcare are the most develop sector which at last top the chart at same position. Although the manufacturing is highest in initial years but it flow rapidly towards the end.
To commence with, the agriculture was the category which is mostly remain steal but towards the final it dipped a little bit, over it start at 5 million jobs and end with around 2 million. Significantly the manufacturing was the most declined sector of those four which begin with 15 million jobs and towards the final reached over 12 million of it their was also a spike in between.
Moving towards the remaining data, another two sector followed a constant incline during the period but their was also a drastically increasing in the healthcare due to it start as a least employ sector. Lastly the those meet at the same point at last i 2020 around 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is hindered by inaccurate reporting of the data. For instance, you state that manufacturing 'declined' from 15 million to 12 million, whereas the graph shows a more complex trend. Furthermore, the description of the final data points is imprecise; you mention '15 million' for both retail and healthcare, which does not accurately reflect the visual data. While you identify the main trends, the lack of precision in data reporting and the misinterpretation of specific figures prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure that you carefully cross-reference your written summary with the actual values on the axes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'To commence with' and 'Moving towards the remaining data' are used, but the internal logic within paragraphs is weak. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'the those meet at the same point', which makes the progression of ideas difficult to follow. The transition between sentences is often abrupt, and the lack of clear logical flow between the overview and the body paragraphs limits the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and often repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'most develop sector' (should be 'most developed') and 'least employ sector' (should be 'least employed'). There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'remain steal' instead of 'remained stable' and 'drastically increasing' instead of 'drastic increase'. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained constant', or 'surpassed', and ensure you use the correct word forms (e.g., adjectives vs. nouns).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('agriculture was the category which is mostly remain steal'), incorrect verb tenses, and misuse of articles. Sentence structures are generally simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'their was also a spike in between' (should be 'there was'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and run-on sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that 'there' and 'their' are used correctly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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