Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given picture illustrates the information about the number of employment in the US in four sectors of the economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, It can be seen that Healthcare experienced constantly growth to top over the period nevertheless Retail sector and Healthcare department had same in the last year. On the other hand, Manufacturing and Agriculture jobs reduced over the time.
In 1960 Manufacturing companies had 15 million people employede then it rose to 20 million in 1980 but after 1980 they wolud declined constantly and held around 13 million people in 2020. The Agriculture department had 6 million job holders in the starting year and they went falling down over all the time.
On the other hand, Healthcare and Retail sectors has strong reputation to building new jobs for the people because they constantly rose their employment over the time as in 1960 Healthcare and Retail department had 2 million and 6 million jobs respectively and in 2020 they are on same amount of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that Healthcare and Retail had the same number of jobs in the final year is a misinterpretation of the data, as the graph shows them at different points. While the main features are highlighted, the analysis lacks precision in comparing the specific figures. The summary of trends is generally clear, but the description of the 'Retail' sector's growth is somewhat conflated with Healthcare. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are accurately extracted and that the overview clearly distinguishes between the distinct trajectories of all four sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'In 1960', and 'respectively' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Referencing is generally clear, but the internal structure of the sentences sometimes makes the progression of ideas feel slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used more naturally would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'constantly growth' (should be 'constant growth'), 'department' used to refer to economic sectors, and 'reputation to building' (should be 'reputation for creating'). The range is somewhat limited, relying on basic verbs like 'rose' and 'reduced'. To improve, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily', or 'surpassed'. Spelling errors like 'employede' and 'wolud' also detract from the overall quality.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Healthcare experienced constantly growth' (adverb/adjective confusion), 'Retail sector and Healthcare department had same' (missing article), and 'they wolud declined' (incorrect modal verb usage). Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent, such as 'Healthcare and Retail sectors has'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for tense consistency would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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