Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The data depicts the number of employment in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare departments of the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the jobs in the retail and healthcare sector rose significantly, while the employment in agriculture declined throughout the period. Manufacturing jobs face fluctuations from 1960 to 2020.

Initially, the healthcare sector offered around 2 million job opportunities to applicants with steady rise till more than 15 million of employment in 2020 considered the largest share in the same year accompanied by the retail department.

The agriculture provided more than 5 million job to the employee in 1960 which declined drastically at around 2.5 million during 1980 with further relatively stable fall in 2020 at around 2 million. The manufacturing department on the other hand, contributed highest to the economy of the US with the employment of 15 million people, increased significantly in 1980 at 20 million job offers with further decline in 2020 with around 14 million job opportunities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped. While you mention that manufacturing 'faced fluctuations', the data shows a clear rise followed by a decline, which could be described more precisely. Additionally, the comparison between sectors is somewhat limited; you mention that healthcare and retail were the largest in 2020, but more explicit comparisons between the starting and ending points of all four sectors would strengthen the analysis. The data points are generally accurate, but the description of the manufacturing trend lacks the nuance required for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from general trends to specific sector details. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical. For example, the transition between the description of agriculture and manufacturing is abrupt. There is a reliance on simple linking phrases, and the paragraphing, while present, could be improved by grouping the sectors more effectively (e.g., grouping the growing sectors versus the declining ones) to enhance the logical flow. Referencing is generally clear, but the overall cohesion lacks the flexibility expected at higher bands.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'drastically', and 'opportunities'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, 'departments' is not the most appropriate term for economic sectors. You also use 'employment' where 'jobs' or 'number of people employed' would be more natural. There are also minor errors in phrasing, such as 'steady rise till more than 15 million of employment'. While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the precision and sophistication of your writing, keeping it within the Band 6 range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'the number of employment' (should be 'the number of people employed'), 'considered the largest share' (lacks a subject/connector), and 'provided more than 5 million job to the employee' (should be 'jobs to employees'). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the data. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and pluralization.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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