Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the knowledge about jobs in millions among four sector. namely, manufacturing, retail , agricultural and healthcare between 1920 and 2020

Overall, manufacturing was the largest employer over the period before 1980 . While retail and healthcare had steady growth. Agricultural become the smallest sector among the end of the period

In 1960 , manufacturing employed about 15 million , however it rose to a peak of 20million in 1980 suddenly starters falling down to around 13million in 2020 . While, retail increased consistently from approximately 6 million to 10 million in 1960 to 1980 respectively. Moreover , making it the largest employer by not only hitting 15 million in 2000 but also went up gradually almost 16 million in the end of the period

Healthcare recorded significant growth by climbed almost from 2 million to 11 million in 1960 to 2000 corresponding. Furthermore , it then rose sharply to around 16million in 2020. Whereas, agriculture was around 6 million in 1960 and dropped slowly by half of the amount in 1980 . Whilst , it remained stable until 2000 then fell slightly to around 2million in the end of the period

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the peak of manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state the period is 1920–2020, but the prompt specifies 1960–2020. Additionally, some figures are slightly misread or confusingly phrased, such as the description of retail growth. To improve, ensure you double-check the axes and labels before writing to avoid factual errors, and focus on selecting the most significant data points rather than listing every minor fluctuation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'Furthermore' to link sentences. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the repetitive use of 'While' and 'Whilst' at the start of sentences. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the third paragraph where the flow between the manufacturing and retail trends becomes a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'steady growth', and 'significant growth'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'suddenly starters falling down' and 'corresponding' used incorrectly. There are also minor spelling and punctuation issues, such as the extra spaces before commas. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is used in the correct grammatical form to convey your meaning more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and prepositions (e.g., 'by climbed almost', 'among the end of the period'). Some sentences are fragmented or lack proper subject-verb agreement. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. Focusing on consistent tense usage—especially when describing past trends—and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy will significantly improve your score.

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