Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The information about the employment in four sectors of the economy in the us from 1960 to 2020 has been depicted by the line graph.The data is calibrated in million.
Overall,it is clear that jobs in manufacturing and agriculture sector declined over the time period, however employment rates in retai and healthcare increased in the given time period.
In 1960, The figures for the employment was highest in manufacturing sector,stood at 15 million, however after two decades, the number escalated 20 million.by 2020,the manufacturing sector experienced a notable decline, enjoyment figures fell to 13 million.In contrast, the agriculture sector experienced a noticeable decline in employment rates,6million in 1960, fell to 4 million by 1980 and followed the same trend by 2020
In 1960,The jobs in retail and healthcare were 6 million,3 million respectively.howvever both experienced a rise, reached to 10 million,5 million respectively by 1980.by 2020, the jobs in retail sector and healthcare reached to the peak of 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. You provided a clear overview and supported your points with data from the graph. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting of the figures. For example, you stated that the manufacturing sector reached 20 million by 1980, but the graph shows it peaking earlier and declining by 1980. Additionally, you mentioned that retail and healthcare reached a peak of 16 million by 2020, but the graph shows these as separate lines with different values. More careful attention to reading the data points is required to achieve a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'however', but the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing and punctuation errors. For instance, there are missing spaces after commas and periods, such as 'Overall,it' and '1980.by'. Improving your control over punctuation and using a wider variety of linking words would help the information flow more naturally and improve the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'calibrated', 'escalated', and 'notable decline'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'retai' instead of 'retail' and 'howvever' instead of 'however'. You also have some awkward word choices, such as 'enjoyment figures' instead of 'employment figures'. To improve, focus on proofreading for spelling and ensuring that your word choices are precise and appropriate for an academic report. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' will also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in manufacturing sector'), incorrect verb forms, and inconsistent capitalization. For example, 'The figures for the employment was' should be 'The figures for employment were'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to limit your score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and basic punctuation rules will significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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