Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The information about the jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020 has been depicted by line graph.
Overall,it is clear that the employment in manufacturing and agriculture sector declined over the time period, while jobs in retail and healthcare rise over the time period.
In 1960, jobs in manufacturing was the highest,stood at 15 million.however by 1980, the figures experienced a rise, reached to the peak of 20 million before declining to 14 million in 2020.In contrast, employment in agriculture was 6 million in 1960.however by 1980,the number decreased to 4 million and followed the same trend and declined to 3 million by 2020.
Jobs in retail and health care increased over the time period. The employment in retail and healthcare was 6 million and 3 million in 1960.however by 1980,jobs in retail was 10 million and 5 million in agriculture. By the end of the time period, rhe number reached to the peak at 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that retail and healthcare reached 16 million by the end of the period, but the graph shows these as separate lines, and the data points are misread or conflated. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector's trend is inconsistent with the provided data. While the overview is present, the lack of precision in reporting the figures prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that data points are read carefully and that comparisons between sectors are clearly distinguished.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'However', but the use of punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with missing spaces after periods and commas. This makes the flow feel somewhat mechanical. The referencing is occasionally unclear, especially in the final paragraph where the grouping of retail and healthcare data becomes confusing. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring consistent paragraphing and punctuation will enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, using terms like 'declined', 'peak', and 'employment'. However, the range is limited and there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'depicted by line graph' (should be 'a line graph') and 'rise over the time period' (should be 'rose'). There is also a spelling error ('rhe' instead of 'the'). To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for trends and ensure precise collocations when describing statistical changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'jobs in manufacturing was', 'the figures... reached') and missing articles. Punctuation is also a recurring issue, with several instances of missing spaces after punctuation marks. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and proofreading for punctuation and article usage would significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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