Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides us with the information regarding the number of works in four different sector of the economy in US namely; Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sector showed a steady increase over the period without fluctuating. Although retail sector fluctuated a bit, while the total number of both manufacturing and agricultural sector experienced a downward trend.

In 1960, the number of job in both sectors; manufacturing and agricultural sector, were nearly below 5 million and 15 million respectively. Agricultural rate decreased throughout the period, allowing the healthcare rate exceed it's number of jobs on and before 1980 and kept on decreasing till end of the period in 2020. Regarding manufacturing sector, in 1980, the job sector also first experienced a slight increase from 15 to 20 million respectively in 1980 before hitting a a massive decline of about 17 to 13 million between 2000 and 2020 respectively making both the sectors with lowest number of jobs in million.

When it comes to retail and healthcare sector, they are regarded as the sectors with the highest rate in available number of jobs. In 1960 the total initial available number of jobs in US in retail sector was slightly above 5 million vacancies, this grew rapidly to about 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000 and remained dominant without any new job vacancy in 2020. Also the healthcare sector saw a considerable increase with no drop right from initial year till end of the period in 2020 with 15 million job opportunities. However, the manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs, yet declined at the end of the period. But the healthcare sector experience an upward trend considerably without fluctuating till end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is inconsistent and contains factual inaccuracies. For example, you state that the manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs in 1960, but the graph shows agriculture was higher. Additionally, the description of the trends is sometimes contradictory, such as claiming the retail sector remained 'without any new job vacancy in 2020' while the graph shows a specific data point. The overview is present but lacks clarity due to these inaccuracies. To improve, ensure that your summary of the data points strictly aligns with the visual evidence provided in the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'namely;' and 'respectively' are used incorrectly throughout the text, often appearing where they do not logically fit the sentence structure. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by these awkward transitions. While there is an attempt to use linking words, the lack of precision in their application makes the flow feel disjointed. Improving the variety and accuracy of your cohesive devices will significantly enhance the readability of your report.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'downward trend', and 'considerable increase'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'number of works' instead of 'number of jobs' and 'agricultural rate' instead of 'number of jobs in agriculture'. Some phrasing is repetitive, and the misuse of 'respectively' indicates a lack of control over more sophisticated lexical items. To reach a higher band, focus on using vocabulary that is not only varied but also contextually accurate and naturally collocated.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'healthcare rate exceed it's number'), incorrect punctuation (e.g., the misuse of semicolons), and awkward phrasing. The use of 'it's' instead of the possessive 'its' is a recurring error. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like possessive pronouns and punctuation before attempting more complex structures.

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