Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides us with the information regarding the number of workers in four different sectors of the economy in the US namely; Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sector showed a steady increase over the period without fluctuating. Although the retail sector fluctuated a bit, while the total number of both manufacturing and agricultural sector experienced a downward trend.

In 1960, the number of jobs in both sectors: manufacturing and agricultural sectors, were nearly below 5 million and 15 million respectively. Agricultural rate decreased throughout the period, allowing the healthcare rate to exceed its number of jobs on and before 1980 and kept on decreasing till the end of the period in 2020. Regarding manufacturing sector, in 1980, the job sector also first experienced a slight increase from 15 to 20 million respectively in 1980 before hitting a a massive decline of about 17 to 13 million between 2000 and 2020 respectively making both the sectors with lowest number of jobs in million.

When it comes to the retail and healthcare sector, they are regarded as the sectors with the highest rate in available number of jobs. In 1960 the total initial available number of jobs in US in retail sector was slightly above 5 million vacancies, this grew rapidly to about 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000 and remained dominant without any new job vacancy in 2020. Also the healthcare sector saw a considerable increase with no drop right from initial year till end of the period in 2020 with 15 million job opportunities. However, the manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs, yet declined at the end of the period. But the healthcare sector experienced an incredible upward trend considerably without fluctuating till end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview. However, the accuracy of your data reporting is inconsistent. For example, you state that the retail sector remained dominant 'without any new job vacancy in 2020,' which is a misinterpretation of the graph. Additionally, your description of the manufacturing sector's starting point (below 5 million) contradicts the visual data, which shows it starting significantly higher. While you cover all four sectors, the lack of precision in reading the graph and some contradictory statements regarding the trends prevent this from reaching a higher band. Ensure you double-check the axes and data points before writing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Overall,' 'In 1960,' and 'When it comes to.' However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. For instance, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is somewhat abrupt. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as when referring to 'both sectors' without explicitly stating which ones are being compared in that specific sentence. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated,' 'downward trend,' and 'vacancies.' However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'without fluctuating' (when describing a steady increase) and 'the healthcare rate to exceed its number of jobs.' Some phrasing is repetitive, particularly the use of 'number of jobs' and 'sector.' To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and focus on using collocations more naturally to describe statistical trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect preposition usage ('in 1960 to 2020' instead of 'between 1960 and 2020'), punctuation errors (the semicolon after 'namely'), and awkward syntax ('making both the sectors with lowest number of jobs in million'). Subject-verb agreement and the use of articles are also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a stronger grasp of basic sentence construction.

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