Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
ln the given a graph gives a information about the jobs in aa four sectors of the economy in the US Between the year 1960 vis a vis 2020.
Overall it can be seen that,so as to the Number of in four sectors like "Manufacturing,Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare"These all the sector had been them in job since 1960 to 2020.
To begin with, The Manufacturing jobs in US begin on the year 1960 between jobs in millions 10 to 20. However on the year 1980 the rising at a 20 millions. Although suddenly The Manufacturing was fall down till 2020. Therefore the manufacturer job were not successful for the individuals.for instance In India the manufacturer job Stated from 1970 morewere after a few years it's diminished.
On the other hand,The retail millions begin with 5.5 hiking to till 2000. Also after it solw doen to till 2020.The Agriculture millions starts from same as Retail 5.5 and but it's not be successful but 2020. Finally the Healthcare compared to all it was successful there profits day by day proliferating to till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to accurately report the main features of the graph. The data interpretation is often unclear, such as stating manufacturing jobs were 'not successful' or mentioning India, which is irrelevant to the prompt. The summary of trends is inconsistent, and the description of the data is imprecise, failing to highlight key comparisons or significant shifts in the sectors. The response lacks a clear overview of the overall trends, and the inclusion of external information (India) indicates a misunderstanding of the task requirements. Consequently, the response does not adequately address the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often misused or mechanical, such as 'Therefore' and 'Although' which do not logically connect the preceding and following ideas. The referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the intended meaning. The transition between sentences is often abrupt, and the lack of clear signposting makes the overall structure feel disjointed. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the internal flow of information is not well-managed.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'hiking to till 2000' and 'profits day by day proliferating'. The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles to express trends accurately (e.g., 'fall down' instead of 'declined'). The misuse of terms like 'successful' to describe economic sectors indicates a lack of control over academic register. Spelling errors and awkward phrasing further impede the clarity of the message, limiting the range of vocabulary to a basic level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and article usage (e.g., 'The Manufacturing jobs in US begin on the year 1960'). The student attempts complex sentences, but these are almost always faulty, leading to confusion. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with irregular spacing and capitalization. The range of structures is very limited, and the high frequency of errors makes the text difficult to read and understand in several places.
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