Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The following graph shows number of jobs in four sectors being Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.
The graph describes all of the sectors throughout the years and how the demand for those jobs have been increasing and decreasing. To be specific with each sector, starting with the healthcare sector which had 2 million jobs in the year 1960 and then drastically increased in number by the year of 2020. By 2020 it reached upto 15 million. Then with the Agriculture sector which started with 6 million jobs in the year 1960 had a decrease in the number by the year of 2020 which was a disadvantage to the particular sector. Whereas the most in demand sectors of Retail and Manufacturing from the year 1960 to 2020 stay the same. Retail sector starting from 6 million jobs to increasing upto 15 million jobs by 2020 and the Manufacturing sector starting from 15 million jobs in 1960 had its peak demand in the year 1980 with 20 million jobs. It also faced a little decrease in the number of jobs upto 14 million by the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for 1960 and 2020. However, the overview is weak; it merely states that demand increased or decreased without highlighting the most significant trends, such as the clear divergence between the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. The analysis is somewhat mechanical, listing figures rather than synthesizing the information. To reach a higher band, you should group the sectors by their trends (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined) and provide a clearer summary of the overall shifts in the US economy during this period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive sentence structures. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Whereas' and 'To be specific', the transition between ideas feels mechanical. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'stay the same', which does not accurately describe the dynamic changes shown in the graph. Improving the use of linking words to show contrast and sequence would help the flow of the response. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the second paragraph could be more balanced to avoid a list-like feel.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased' repeatedly. Phrases such as 'disadvantage to the particular sector' are slightly unnatural in this context; it would be more accurate to describe the trend as a 'downward trend' or 'contraction'. There is an attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the range is limited. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for change and movement, and ensure that collocations are used correctly to describe economic data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, 'the demand for those jobs have been' should be 'has been' to agree with the singular subject 'demand'. There are also issues with article usage, such as 'shows number of jobs' (should be 'the number of jobs'). Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'Then with the Agriculture sector which started with 6 million jobs... had a decrease'. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and ensuring every sentence has a clear main verb will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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