Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sector of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the graph is about jobs in four several sectors of the wealth
in the US. Between 1960 and 2020 we can see the drastically changes in allocated four sector.
To begin with, X-access give information about jobs in millions and Y-access give information about year. Firstly, in the year of 1960 15 million people had a position of manufacture. Secondly in the same year retailers and agricultures had a same numbers and that was near by 6 million. Lastly, only 3 million people had a position of healthcare in 1960.
However, in the year of 1980 manufacturing jobs got significantly up wares with the number of 20 million. On the other hand, in the year of 2020 Profession of retail and healthcare also had a same figure and that was approximately 15 million. Moreover, agriculture field got faced downfall with the number of 3 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identified the starting points and some trends, the description lacks a clear overview of the overall trends (e.g., the long-term growth of healthcare versus the decline of agriculture). The mention of 'X-access' and 'Y-access' is unnecessary and detracts from the academic tone. To improve, focus on grouping the data by trends (e.g., sectors that grew versus those that declined) rather than listing data points chronologically. Ensure you provide a clear, concise summary of the main trends in the introduction or overview paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. While you use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with' and 'However', they are used mechanically. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'allocated four sector', which does not link well to the previous sentence. The overall structure would benefit from a more distinct overview paragraph that highlights the most significant changes across the period, rather than just jumping into specific data points in the first body paragraph.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and contains several inaccuracies. Phrases like 'wealth in the US' and 'got significantly up wares' are unnatural and do not accurately describe economic data. You rely on basic terms like 'position' and 'number', which are repetitive. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'retailers and agricultures' (referring to the sectors rather than the people). To reach a higher band, you should use more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a steady decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'four different sector' (should be plural), 'drastically changes' (should be 'drastic changes'), and 'X-access' (should be 'X-axis'). The sentence structure is often simplistic, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'near by 6 million' and 'got faced downfall'. While you attempt some complex ideas, the execution is often faulty. Focusing on basic sentence accuracy and correct pluralization will help improve your score significantly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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