Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates four different sectors jobs in US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in retail consistently increased during whole time period. While, In manufacturing field highly numbers of job available in first 20 years and in next years the jobs slightly reduced in this sector.

To begin, in 1960 manufacturing sector had 15 millions jobs and till 1980 the number of jobs in this field increased swiftly and reached to 20 millions and in 2020 after gradually decreased approximately 13 millions jobs left in this sector. In starting year healthcare and retail sector both had same figures of employment above then 5 million. The retail showed continues raise in number of job while, healthcare employment opportunities showed decreased and less then 5 millions jobs were available and till 2000 the job ratio maintained and in next years it showed slight decreased almost 3 millions jobs left in this sector. The agriculture sector had less number of job in start as compare to other its ratio gradually increased the whole time period in last year both retail and agriculture field have more then 15 millions employment opportunities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in retail and the decline in manufacturing. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the claim that healthcare employment decreased and remained at 3 million is not supported by standard interpretations of such graphs, and the description of the agriculture sector's growth is vague. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in reporting the data points and the misinterpretation of trends prevent a higher score. The overview is present but could be more clearly integrated to provide a better summary of the overall shifts.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes awkward, such as the repetitive use of 'and' to connect clauses. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. While there is a logical progression from the general to the specific, the internal structure of the paragraphs is cluttered, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison of the four sectors clearly. More varied linking words and better sentence-level cohesion are needed to improve the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range expected for a higher band. There is frequent repetition of basic terms like 'jobs', 'number', and 'sector'. Some word choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as 'highly numbers of job available' instead of 'a high number of jobs' and 'continues raise' instead of 'continuous rise'. The student attempts to use some descriptive language, but the lack of variety and occasional errors in collocation limit the effectiveness of the communication. Expanding the range of synonyms for trends and quantities would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in US economy'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'after gradually decreased'), and problems with prepositions and pluralisation (e.g., 'less number of job'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

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