Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph describes data on different vacancies in various industries(Manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare) in the American from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, two sectors of the economy become more demanding( retail and healthcare) and other sectors become less demanding in the economy.

While Retail industry consistently remained the most popular, Healthcare sector was overtaken by manufacturing industry which became the second most popular.

The jobs in the United States that increased in popularity are retails and healthcare line. Retail sector was more demanding sector throughout the period.

From 1960 to 2000, its popularity hovered between 10% to 15%, before increasing to over 15% till 2020.

Healthcare, which started as the second most popular industry , in the beginning at around 2% after that there was a moderate increase to over 15%in 2020.

Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors are less popular from 1960 to 1980 production jobs are most popular between 15% to 20% after 1980 there was a downward tendency till 2020.

On the other hand, Healthcare sector was significantly decline by 1980, between 1980 and 2000 remained stable, after that again there was slightly drop at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in the data interpretation. For instance, you state that the healthcare sector was 'significantly declined by 1980' and had a 'slightly drop at the end', which contradicts the visual data showing a steady upward trend. Furthermore, the claim that manufacturing was 'the second most popular' is confusingly phrased and contradicts your earlier statement about healthcare. While you identify the main trends, the factual errors in reporting the data points and the misinterpretation of the trends prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure that your descriptions of the data align precisely with the visual evidence provided in the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression is hindered by contradictory statements. For example, you mention that healthcare was 'the second most popular' and then later describe it as having a 'downward tendency' or 'decline', which confuses the reader. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'While', 'From 1960 to 2000', and 'On the other hand', but they are sometimes used to connect ideas that are factually inconsistent. Improving the logical flow between sentences and ensuring that your analysis remains consistent throughout the response will significantly improve your coherence score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'sectors', 'economy', 'popularity', and 'downward tendency'. However, there are issues with word choice and collocation. For example, 'more demanding' is used to describe the popularity of jobs, which is not the standard way to describe employment statistics. Additionally, 'retails' is used as a noun for the sector, whereas 'retail' is the correct form. There are also some awkward phrasings like 'in the American' (should be 'in the US'). Expanding your range of precise reporting verbs and nouns would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in the American'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'Healthcare sector was significantly decline'), and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'two sectors... become more demanding'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally clear despite these errors, the frequency of mistakes in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.