Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph illustrates information about the number of occupation in million terms in US for the year 1960 to 2020 in four sectors of economy such as manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare.
Overall, Healthcare had demonstrated a significant increase in the jobs followed by retail. Manufacturing had plummeted.Among the four sectors ; Agriculture had shown least employment rate.
It is evident from the chart that the highest proportion of job was observed in 1980 in Manufacturing by 20 millions.At the beginning, least job vaccancies were provided in the healthcare by around 3 million. However it has sky-rocketed to a figure of 16 million and held the first position in 2020 along with retail sector. In 1960, Retail provided only 6 million jobs and it rose steadily till 2000 to 15 million jobs.Highest job opportunity position was shared by retail as well as healthcare in 2020.
It is noticeable from graph that the difference in job vaccancies is less than 5 million between manufacturing and the other two in first position. Nevertheless the economyhas demonstratred good performance while need to consider agriculture sectopr
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in manufacturing. However, the reporting of data is occasionally inaccurate or confusing. For instance, stating that the highest proportion of jobs was in 1980 at 20 million is not clearly supported by the graph, and the claim that healthcare and retail shared the first position in 2020 is a good observation but lacks precise data points. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated to highlight the most significant shifts over the 60-year period. More careful attention to the specific figures provided in the graph would improve the accuracy of the summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'However', 'Nevertheless', and 'It is evident from the chart', which help the flow of information. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the final sentence which mentions 'the other two' without clearly identifying which sectors are being compared. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the progression of ideas within the body paragraphs could be smoother to better link the data points to the overall trends described.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts at using descriptive verbs like 'sky-rocketed' and 'plummeted'. However, there are several spelling errors ('vaccancies', 'demonstratred', 'sectopr') and some awkward phrasing, such as 'in million terms' and 'employment rate' when referring to the number of jobs. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, the errors in spelling and word choice prevent it from reaching a higher band. More precise terminology regarding economic sectors and data reporting would enhance the quality of the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in US', 'in 1980 in Manufacturing'), incorrect preposition usage, and subject-verb agreement issues ('Healthcare had demonstrated', 'economy has demonstratred'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after semicolons and periods. While the meaning is generally clear despite these errors, the frequency of slips in basic grammar and punctuation limits the score. To improve, focus on proofreading for articles and ensuring consistent spacing and punctuation throughout the text.
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