Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different fields in the US between 1960 to 2020. In 1960 healthcare has the minimum number of jobs while manufacturing sector has maximum jobs at the end of year. Moreover, retail and agriculture sector have the same number of jobs.
In 1980, there is major increase in jobs of manufacturing and retail sector. Although, there is no mark difference in jobs of agriculture and healthcare. In this year, the only sector which losses the job is agriculture sector. in 2020, the number of jobs increase to 15 million in retail sector and 11 million in agriculture sector while no change occur in healthcare sector. Furthurmore, manufacturing sector decreses to approximate 12 millions. At the end of 2020, manufacturing sector continue to decrease and there is minor change in healthcare and agriculture fields. In contrast , the sudden change occur in manufacturing and healthcare department in which one is increase while other is decrease.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the data but fails to provide a clear overview of the main trends. The description of the data is often inaccurate or confusing, such as stating that 'healthcare has the minimum number of jobs' in 1960 when the graph shows otherwise. Furthermore, the report lacks a clear comparison of the sectors over the 60-year period. The information provided is fragmented, and the conclusion is contradictory, mentioning a 'sudden change' that is not clearly supported by the provided data. To improve, you must focus on identifying the most significant trends, such as the growth in retail and the decline in manufacturing, while ensuring the data points cited are accurate.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'Although, there is no mark difference' and 'Furthurmore'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four sectors. The transition between the years 1960, 1980, and 2020 is abrupt, and the lack of clear signposting makes the overall structure feel disjointed. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would significantly enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, often relying on simple verbs like 'increase' and 'decrease'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'Furthurmore' and 'decreses', and some word choice inaccuracies, such as 'losses the job' instead of 'lost jobs'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the trends with precision. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate a wider variety of synonyms and collocations related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'witnessed a sharp rise', or 'a downward trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'healthcare has the minimum', 'no change occur', 'manufacturing sector continue to decrease'). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction hinders the overall quality of the writing. Focusing on consistent tense usage and proofreading for basic agreement errors would be a good starting point for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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