Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph here shows us the number of employment each sector generated in US in different sectors for a span of 60 years from 1960 to 2020 specifically
First and the best sector who has only seen growth in employment is Healthcare sector, the number of jobs has rise from few million in 1960 to 15 million employments in 2020 , receiving a huge increase from 1980s .
Following the lead the second best sector to generate job was Retail it saw a slow growth over years, starting from 6 million jobs to 15 million jobs in 2020.
The sector who has faced a decrement in employment is Agriculture having a roughly 6 mil employments in 1960 to getting it decreased to 3to 4 million in 2020.
The worst hit on a sector for employment was on Manufacturing Industry , employing around 15 million in 1960s to seeing a rapid growth in employment in 1980s but then saw a constant loss in number of jobs till 2020 generating around 13 million .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors, but the overview is missing. An IELTS Task 1 response must include a clear summary of the main trends. You have identified some key features, such as the growth in Healthcare and the decline in Agriculture, but the analysis lacks a comparative perspective. For instance, you mention the Manufacturing industry's peak in the 1980s, but you do not contrast this with the steady growth of other sectors. To improve, ensure you include an introductory sentence that paraphrases the prompt and a separate paragraph that highlights the most significant overall trends, such as which sector ended as the largest or which saw the most dramatic change.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by the lack of cohesive devices. You rely on simple transitions like 'First' and 'Following the lead', which feel mechanical. There is a lack of linking words to connect ideas within sentences or between paragraphs. To reach a higher band, use a wider variety of cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'meanwhile', 'subsequently', or 'whereas' to show the relationship between the data points. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'The sector who has faced', which should be 'The sector that has faced'.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'sector' and 'employment' or 'jobs'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'The worst hit on a sector', which is not natural English. Phrases like 'few million' and '3to 4 million' lack precision. To improve, try to use a broader range of synonyms and more sophisticated reporting verbs or nouns, such as 'fluctuated', 'witnessed a downward trend', or 'experienced a significant surge'. Accuracy in spelling and word form is also an area for development, as seen in '3to 4' and 'employments' (which is usually uncountable in this context).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'The line graph here shows us the number of employment each sector generated in US' is missing articles ('the US') and has awkward phrasing. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, such as 'the number of jobs has rise' (should be 'has risen'). Punctuation is also problematic, with inconsistent spacing around numbers and commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and using articles appropriately before nouns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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