Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The figure shows the data about the number of jobs in four distinct sectors of economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing, retail and health care sectors experience increase of job opportunities while agriculture related jobs stay the lowest in number throughout the years.
Firstly, Manufacturing jobs starts off with 15 in the year 1960, recording highest of all the other three sectors in 1980(20) and lowest in 2020 with a slightly less than 15. Moreover, retail and healthcare sectors starts from lower than 10 in 1960 and gradually increases to around the similar number in jobs in 2020 with exceeding 15 by little amount.
Secondly, agriculture has the lowest job numbers among the other sectors, less than 10 throughout the years from 1950 to 2020. In 1960, it started off around the similar number as retail (more than 5) but eventually reduced to less than 5 after the year 1960.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision. For instance, the data points are described vaguely (e.g., 'slightly less than 15', 'around the similar number'), which fails to fully exploit the data provided in the graph. Additionally, there is a factual error regarding the timeline, as the text mentions 1950, while the graph clearly shows 1960–2020. To reach a higher band, you should provide more accurate data points and ensure the overview highlights the most significant shifts, such as the clear divergence between the growth of service sectors and the decline of agriculture.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'Secondly' are used to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some referencing is slightly unclear. For example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. The use of pronouns and linking words is generally effective, but the overall structure would benefit from more sophisticated transitions to connect the trends across the different time periods more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic verbs like 'shows', 'starts', and 'increases'. While you successfully use terms like 'sectors', 'opportunities', and 'gradually', there is a lack of more sophisticated or academic vocabulary that would demonstrate a wider range. Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'exceeding 15 by little amount'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'witnessed a steady climb' or 'remained relatively stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, subject-verb agreement issues are present, such as 'Manufacturing jobs starts off' and 'retail and healthcare sectors starts'. There are also minor errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'in the year 1960' (which is often redundant) and 'around the similar number'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of basic grammatical rules.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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