Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The figure shows the data about the number of jobs in four distinct sectors of economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing started off with the highest number than the other three and dropped less than retail and healthcare as these two sectors raised sharply the most throughout the years. Moreover, even though agriculture related jobs opportunity started with similar to retail but stayed the lowest in number throughout the years.
Firstly, Manufacturing jobs started off with 15 in the year 1960, recording highest of all the other three sectors in 1980(20) and dropped to less than 15 in 2020. Moreover, retail sector started from less than 10 in 1960 and gradually increases to around 16 in 2020. Healthcare jobs was lowest (less than 5 million) in 1960 but increased sharply from 1980 to 2020 resulted similar numbers as retail.
Secondly, agriculture had the lowest job numbers among the other sectors, less than 10 throughout the years from 1980 to 2020. In 1960, it started off around the similar number as retail (more than 5) but stayed almost same throughout the years(less than 5 million).
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, the overview is slightly confusing; for instance, the claim that manufacturing 'dropped less than retail and healthcare' is inaccurate, as manufacturing experienced a decline while the others grew. The data reporting is generally accurate, but the lack of clear units (e.g., '15' instead of '15 million') and some imprecise comparisons (e.g., 'similar numbers as retail') limit the clarity of the analysis. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview highlights the most significant trends—such as the shift from manufacturing to service-based sectors—more clearly and accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover', 'Firstly', and 'Secondly', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the sentences sometimes lacks flow, making the comparison between sectors feel disjointed. Referencing is mostly clear, but the connection between the data points could be smoother to improve the overall readability of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. Phrases like 'started off', 'dropped', and 'increased sharply' are functional but repetitive. There are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'jobs opportunity' instead of 'job opportunities' and 'resulted similar numbers' instead of 'resulted in similar numbers'. To improve, you should incorporate more precise reporting verbs and nouns related to economic trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'a significant decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'Manufacturing started off with the highest number than the other three' (incorrect comparative structure) and 'Healthcare jobs was lowest' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the sentence construction is often clunky, which occasionally hinders the flow. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammatical structures and ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement will help improve the score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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