Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

TASK-1

The report compares the changes in the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the USA, from year 1960 to 2020, the figures given in millions.

Overall, the number of healthcare jobs is the least in 1960 that increased till the end. Jobs in manufacturing sector was highest which decreased over time.

Statistically, in the year 1960, healthcare jobs were least only 2.5 millions, whereas 15 million jobs were in manufacturing sector, the retail and Agriculture jobs were 6 million. Jobs in healthcare sector increased to 5 million between 1960 and 1980, A rise of 5 million jobs was seen in the manufacturing sector in the next two decades. Retail jobs

faced a considerable increase of 4 million jobs in 1980, whereas the jobs in employment in Agriculture faced a drastic downfall of approximately 3 million in 1960.

Moreover, Manufacturing sector faced a decline to 17 million jobs in 2000. In Contrast Healtcare the number of healt-care jobs face showed an incline to 11 million in 2000. In the same year, Retail sector rose to 15 million jobs wheras Agriculture sector fo showed fall to stagnant number. Furthermore, manufacturing sector fell to 14 million jobs in 2020 and the number of agriculture jobs were only 2 million. Retail and Healtcare sector reached 16 million jobs at the end.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you state that healthcare jobs were 'least' in 1960 at 2.5 million, which is correct, but your description of the manufacturing sector's trends is confusing and at times contradictory. The overview is present but lacks clarity regarding the overall trends. While you attempt to make comparisons, the data points selected are sometimes unclear or misstated, such as the claim regarding the 'drastic downfall' of agriculture in 1960. To improve, ensure that your data points are accurately transcribed from the graph and that your summary highlights the most significant trends rather than listing individual figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While you use cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'In contrast', they are sometimes used incorrectly or do not effectively link the ideas. The referencing is occasionally confusing, such as in the final paragraph where the flow between sectors becomes disjointed. To reach a higher band, focus on using cohesive devices to create a smoother flow between sentences and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that supports the overall narrative of the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. There are several spelling errors, such as 'Healtcare' and 'healt-care', and some word choice issues, such as 'stagnant number' and 'incline' (which is better used as a noun or replaced with 'increase'). You rely on basic descriptors like 'least' and 'highest' rather than more sophisticated academic vocabulary. To improve, work on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure you proofread for basic spelling errors which distract the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the figures given in millions' (missing a verb), 'Jobs in manufacturing sector was highest' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'the number of agriculture jobs were only 2 million' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring every sentence contains a clear main verb.

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