Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The chart illustrates the proportion of working jobs in following sector that is, Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the Manufacturing facility was the highest among all sectors whereas, lowest number of people were seen in Agriculture. The Healthcare and Retail sector were observed with up and down trend in the following given years.
In 1960, the intail proportion of jobs were seen in manufacturing was15 millions and the jobs in healthcare were the lowest in 1960 it was less than 5 millions. In the year 2000, both the sectors have seen some upward changes, the healthcare sector were seen at upward trend 5 millions whereas, the manufacturing field was reached at its peak 20 millions
The retails and healthcare both the sector begin with same proportion it was more 5 millions and later both the fields seen with different numbers the retails were reached at 10 million, while agriculture were reached at its lowest and remain less than 5 millions till 2020. However, in 2020 the retail stayed at 15 millions.
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AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends in the four sectors. However, the data reporting is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, stating that manufacturing reached 20 million in 2000 and retail reached 15 million in 2020 lacks precision and does not clearly reflect the visual data. The overview is present but lacks clarity, as it describes trends as 'up and down' without specifying the direction of change. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately extracted and that the overview highlights the most significant trends, such as the long-term decline in agriculture versus the growth in healthcare.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical. Phrases like 'in the following given years' and 'in the year 2000' are used, but the transition between sentences is often abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'the retails and healthcare both the sector begin with same proportion', which makes the logical progression difficult to follow. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') would help create a smoother flow between ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'proportion of working jobs' and 'intail proportion'. The student relies on basic descriptors like 'upward changes' and 'upward trend' rather than more precise academic vocabulary like 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'experienced a steady rise'. Spelling errors, such as 'intail' (initial) and 'retails' (retail), occur, though they do not significantly impede communication. To reach a higher band, focus on using more specific terminology related to data description and improving word choice accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('the healthcare sector were seen', 'both the sectors have seen'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction ('the manufacturing facility was the highest among all sectors'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and an unnecessary period in the final paragraph. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would lead to significant improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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