Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The figure shows the data about the number of jobs in four distinct sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing started off with the highest number compared to the other three and dropped less than retail and healthcare as these two sectors rose sharply the most throughout the years. Moreover, even though agriculture-related jobs opportunities started with similar to the retail but stayed the lowest in number throughout the years.
Firstly, Manufacturing jobs started off with 15 in the year 1960, recording the highest of all the other three sectors in 1980(20) and dropped to less than 15 in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector started from less than 10 in 1960 and gradually increased to around 16 in 2020. Healthcare jobs were lowest (less than 5 million) in 1960 but increased sharply from 1980 to 2020 resulting in similar numbers as retail.
Secondly, agriculture had the lowest job numbers among the other sectors, less than 10 throughout the years from 1980 to 2020. In 1960, it started off around the similar number as retail (more than 5) but stayed almost identical throughout the years(less than 5 million).
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For example, you state that Manufacturing 'dropped to less than 15 in 2020', but the graph shows it significantly lower, closer to 10. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector is confusing; you mention it stayed 'less than 10' but then note it was 'less than 5 million', which is contradictory. The overview is present but lacks clarity regarding the overall shift in the economy. To improve, ensure that data points are read precisely from the axes and that comparisons are clearly articulated without contradictory statements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Firstly', and 'Secondly' are used to guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas within the second body paragraph is slightly disjointed, particularly when discussing the agriculture sector. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as when you mention 'similar to the retail' without specifying the subject. While the paragraphing is functional, the flow between sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher band score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'distinct sectors', 'gradually increased', and 'sharply'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'started off with 15' (which lacks a unit of measurement) and 'similar numbers as retail'. The repetition of 'throughout the years' and 'started off' limits the sophistication of the response. To reach a higher band, try to vary your reporting verbs and use more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stagnant'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'started off with similar to the retail' (missing a noun) and 'recording the highest of all the other three sectors in 1980(20)'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, though the placement of parentheses is informal. While the errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that comparisons are grammatically complete will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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