Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The figure shows the data about the number of jobs in four distinct sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing started off with the highest number compared to the other three but dropped significantly after 1980 while retail and healthcare gradually increased. Moreover, even though agriculture-related job opportunities started with similar to the retail, they stayed the lowest in number throughout the years.

Firstly, Manufacturing jobs started off with 15 million in the year 1960, recording the highest of all the other three sectors in 1980(20) and dropped to less than 15 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector started from less than 10 million in 1960 and gradually increased to around 16 million in 2020. Healthcare jobs were lowest (less than 5 million) in 1960 but increased sharply from 1980 to 2020 resulting in similar numbers as retail.

Secondly, agriculture had the lowest job numbers among the other sectors, less than 10 million throughout the years from 1980 to 2020. In 1960, it started at a similar level to retail (more than 5 million) but stayed almost identical throughout the years(less than 5 million).

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. You successfully selected key features and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the convergence of healthcare and retail figures. However, the data reporting is occasionally imprecise; for instance, stating manufacturing dropped to 'less than 15 million' in 2020 is vague when the graph shows a more specific point. Additionally, the description of agriculture is slightly repetitive and could have been more concisely integrated. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points mentioned are accurate and that the comparison between sectors is more analytical rather than just listing figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Moreover', 'Firstly', and 'Secondly' helps guide the reader through the information. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be smoother. For example, the phrase 'similar to the retail' in the second paragraph is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the sectors, which aids readability. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns or references clearly point back to the previously mentioned data points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'distinct sectors', 'recording', and 'converged' (implied). There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'started off with similar to the retail', which is not idiomatic. You rely on basic descriptors like 'highest' and 'lowest' frequently. To improve, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'plummeted', 'surged', 'plateaued', or 'fluctuated'. While the current vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'started off with similar to the retail' and 'recording the highest of all the other three sectors in 1980(20)'. The use of parentheses for data is generally discouraged in formal writing; it is better to integrate these figures into the sentence structure. There are also minor issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. To achieve a higher score, focus on reducing these small errors and increasing the variety of complex sentence structures, such as using subordinate clauses more effectively.

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