Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

It can be clearly seen that jobs in manufacturing was accounted for 15 million in 1960 and showed v-shaped motion and declined to 13 million in 2020. The occupations in retail was 6 million in 1960 and gradually increase and reached 16 million in the year 2020.

Evidently, it was clear that occupations in agriculture sector accounted for 6 million in 1960 and witnessed slight decrease till 2020 and reached around 3 million. The healthcare sector was the lowest in 1960 with 3 million jobs and experienced constant increase and reached 16 million till 2020.

Overall, the lowest number of occupations was in agriculture, while highest was in retail and healthcare with the same figure till the year 2020. The manufacturing sector was the third highest in occupations list.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for 1960 and 2020. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, listing figures rather than synthesizing trends. The 'v-shaped motion' description for manufacturing is inaccurate, as the data shows a general decline with some fluctuations, not a sharp recovery. While the main features are identified, the comparison between sectors could be more sophisticated. The overview is present but lacks a clear summary of the most significant trends, such as the shift from manufacturing/agriculture toward service-based industries like healthcare and retail.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for the sectors, and an overview. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'It can be clearly seen', 'Evidently', and 'Overall'. However, the use of these devices is somewhat repetitive and mechanical. The progression of ideas is clear, but the transition between the description of individual sectors and the final summary could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, though the structure of the sentences within paragraphs feels a bit list-like rather than flowing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'sectors', 'economy', 'occupations', and 'witnessed'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'v-shaped motion' (which is not a standard way to describe a graph trend) and 'occupations list'. The range is somewhat limited, relying on basic verbs like 'showed', 'reached', and 'accounted for'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a steady climb'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are several grammatical errors throughout the text. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, for example, 'jobs in manufacturing was accounted for' (should be 'were') and 'occupations in retail was' (should be 'were'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositions, such as 'in agriculture sector' (should be 'in the agriculture sector') and 'reached 16 million till 2020' (should be 'by 2020'). While the meaning is generally clear, these frequent errors in basic grammar prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Complex structures are attempted but often contain errors.

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