Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Information about the number of jobs in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 was illustrated in the line graph.
Overall, Retail sector had the highest figure, while healthcare facilities had the lowest number. Whereas, Manufacturing increased significantly throughout the period, while, Agriculture recorded the highest.
Regarding the higher number, Agriculture stood at 5 millions jobs, then increased dramatically and reached 15 millions jobs in 2020. The number for Manufacturing was 15 millions jobs in 1960 after than slaghtly increased 5 millions jobs in 1980. In 1980, Manufacturing dropped 10 millions jobs end of the year.
Turning to the remaining jobs sector, Healthcare recorded 5 millions jobs in the first year after than went up and reached 18 millions jobs in the US in 2020. Finally, retail accounted for 5 millions in jobs after remained stable end of the year, which was 3 millions jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to summarize the graph but fails to accurately report the data. There are significant factual inaccuracies; for example, you state that Agriculture started at 5 million and reached 15 million, whereas the graph shows it starting higher and declining. Similarly, the description of the Retail sector is contradictory, stating it had the 'highest figure' while later claiming it remained stable at 3 million. Because the data interpretation is fundamentally flawed and inconsistent with the provided visual information, the response does not adequately cover the key features of the graph. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your written figures with the graph axes and trends before finalizing your summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by the factual errors and confusing transitions. While you use cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'Regarding', and 'Turning to', they are often used to introduce information that contradicts the previous sentences or the data itself. For instance, the transition 'Whereas' is used incorrectly in the introduction, as it does not contrast the two clauses effectively. The referencing is also unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends of the specific sectors. Improving the accuracy of your data reporting will naturally help the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'number', 'increased', and 'jobs' throughout the text. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'after than slaghtly increased' and 'after remained stable end of the year'. These errors, combined with the misuse of terminology, make the writing feel mechanical and imprecise. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider variety of verbs and adverbs to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'gradual increase') and ensure that your terminology for economic sectors is used correctly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with verb tenses, such as 'was illustrated' (should be 'is illustrated'), and awkward sentence structures like 'after than went up and reached'. Preposition usage is also inconsistent, for example, 'in 1960 after than slaghtly increased 5 millions jobs'. The sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity. To improve, focus on basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of time markers. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect verb forms would significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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