Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the proportion of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US within the time period of 60 years.

According to the line graph, the highest jobs were provided by manufacturing sector in 1960, at 15 millions, while 6 millions individuals worked in retail and agriculture sectors, followed by 3 millions jobs from healthcare sector. In 1990, the figure of manufacturing, retail and healthcare sectors rose, at 20 millions, 10 millions and 5 millions respectively. In contrast, the figure of agriculture sector declined at 4 millions.

Furthermore, in 2000, the trend of increasing was continue in two sectors namely, retail and healthcare and reached 15 millions and 12 millions, also they showed increase consistently and reach at the top, in 2020, at 16 millions for each. By contrast, there was a sudden decrease in manufacturing sector in providing jobs to individuals in the US and there was decline consistently at 13 millions. Additionally, there was stable trend in agriculture sector from 1990 to 2020.

Overall, the highest jobs providing sector was manufacturing in 1960, which showed continue decline trend, while retail and healthcare sectors increased their number and reach at a peak in 2020, which was 8 times high compared to the least sector which was agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and included relevant data points to support your descriptions. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting; for instance, you stated the manufacturing sector was at 15 million in 1960, whereas the graph shows it closer to 18 million. Additionally, the comparison at the end is slightly confusing. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data extraction is precise and that your summary highlights the most significant trends, such as the clear shift from manufacturing to service-oriented roles, rather than just listing figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for specific time periods, and an overall summary. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'Additionally' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow within sentences is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'the trend of increasing was continue'. Improving the variety and naturalness of your linking phrases will help the essay read more smoothly and improve the overall progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'sectors', and 'declined'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'the figure of manufacturing... rose' (instead of 'the number of jobs in manufacturing') and 'showed continue decline trend' (should be 'a continuous downward trend'). To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing. Expanding your range of descriptive verbs and nouns related to data trends will also help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and word forms, such as 'the trend of increasing was continue' and 'reach at the top'. There are also issues with article usage and prepositions, such as 'in providing jobs to individuals in the US and there was decline consistently'. These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

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