Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line graph illustrates the proportion of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US within the time period of 60 years.

According to the line graph, the highest jobs were provided by manufacturing sector in 1960, at 15 million, while 6 million individuals worked in retail and agriculture sectors, followed by 3 million jobs from healthcare sector. In 1990, the figure of manufacturing, retail and healthcare sectors rose, at 20 million, 10 million and 5 million respectively. In contrast, the figure of agriculture sector declined at 4 million.

Furthermore, in 2000, the trend of increasing was continue in two sectors namely, retail and healthcare and reached 15 million and 12 million, also they showed increase consistently and reach at the top, in 2020, at 16 million for each. By contrast, there was a sudden decrease in manufacturing sector in providing jobs to individuals in the US and there was decline consistently at 13 million. Additionally, there was stable trend in agriculture sector from 1990 to 2020.

Overall, the highest jobs providing sector was manufacturing in 1960, which showed continue decline trend, while retail and healthcare sectors increased their number and reach at a peak in 2020, which was 8 times high compared to the least sector which was agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, including the initial status in 1960 and the final trends by 2020. You successfully identified the key shifts, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly weak; while it mentions the trends, it could be more analytical by highlighting the most significant contrast (the reversal of roles between manufacturing and the service sectors). Some data points are slightly imprecise or lack clear context, such as the comparison at the end regarding the '8 times high' figure, which is not clearly supported by the graph data. Overall, you have addressed the task requirements well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, moving from an introduction to body paragraphs detailing specific time periods, and concluding with an overview. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'Additionally' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the 1990 data and the 2000 trends is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different stages of the data analysis, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'sectors', 'declined', and 'consistently'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For example, 'the trend of increasing was continue' is grammatically awkward and lexically imprecise. You also use 'the figure of' repeatedly, which limits the variety of your expression. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied reporting verbs and nouns, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged', or 'a downward trajectory'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as 'the trend of increasing was continue' and 'reach at the top'. There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases, such as 'in providing jobs to individuals' and 'showed continue decline trend'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the data, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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