Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This figure shows information about different sectors of jobs in the US economy from the start of 1960 to the end of 2020. On the y-axis, jobs are shown in millions, and the x-axis is labeled by years. Jobs in manufacturing maintained an all-time high, but they decreased from 1980 and went down gradually. Five million jobs were held in agriculture, but it had a slight decrease and continued its downward trend. No fluctuation was seen by the end of 2020. Meanwhile, the retail and healthcare economies seemed to be in great competition. Both of these sectors rose as manufacturing went down. However, manufacturing still had good job opportunities, between 10 and 15 million, while the retail and healthcare sectors just reached 15 million jobs. According to the figure, it is clear that both of these sectors increased, and no fall was seen by the end of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you identify the main trends, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You mention that manufacturing 'maintained an all-time high' and then decreased, but you do not provide specific data points or clear comparisons between the sectors at the start and end of the period. The description of the retail and healthcare sectors as being in 'great competition' is a subjective interpretation rather than a factual report of the data. To improve, ensure you include specific figures from the graph to support your observations and provide a more comprehensive overview of the changes over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is written as a single paragraph, which hinders the logical progression of ideas. IELTS Task 1 responses should be structured with an introduction, an overview, and distinct body paragraphs for different features. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Meanwhile' and 'However', the flow is somewhat mechanical. The transition between describing individual sectors and comparing them is abrupt. To improve, use clear paragraph breaks to separate your overview from your detailed analysis and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data to guide the reader more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. Phrases like 'great competition' and 'good job opportunities' are somewhat informal and imprecise for an academic report. You rely on basic descriptors such as 'rose' and 'decreased'. To improve, incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'experienced a downward trajectory', or 'surpassed'. Avoid subjective language and focus on objective reporting of the data provided in the graph.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'No fluctuation was seen by the end of 2020' and 'the x-axis is labeled by years', which sound slightly unnatural. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they demonstrate a lack of control over more complex grammatical forms. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, such as passive voice or complex sentences with subordinating conjunctions, and ensure your subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are consistently accurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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