Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph reveals information about Number of jobs in four various sectors of the economy in the US, between 1960 and 2020.
It is clear that The value of Healthcare in 1960 was near about five, the value stood at 10 in year 1980,
While it increased sharply in 2020 and reached over 15. However, the value of agriculture in 1960 and 2020 were nearly five and 15 respectively.
Moving further from the illustration, the value of retail in 1960 around 5, it inclined gradually and reached at near about 15 in 2020 ,Whereas the value of manufacturing 1960 over 5, the value of manufacturing is 20 in year 1980, it increased by 1980 after it decreased that it reached.
Overall, the highest value covered by manufacturing in 1980. on the contrary, the lowest value covered by healthcare. it can be seen that there were flacuations in different sectors and various years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt by identifying some data points, but it fails to provide a clear, coherent overview of the trends. The description of the data is often inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that manufacturing reached 20 in 1980 and then decreased, which is difficult to follow. The report lacks a logical selection of main features, focusing instead on isolated, sometimes unclear data points. To improve, you must ensure that your summary highlights the most significant trends (e.g., the overall growth or decline of sectors) rather than listing individual figures, which often leads to inaccuracies.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the sentences within the paragraphs do not flow logically. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes misused, such as the abrupt transition 'Moving further from the illustration' and the repetitive use of 'the value of'. The final paragraph is particularly disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of information. To improve, focus on using transition words more naturally and ensuring that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one to create a cohesive narrative.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'the value of' are used excessively, which makes the writing monotonous. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'inclined gradually' (which is not the standard way to describe a graph trend) and 'flacuations' (spelling error). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision. You should aim to use a wider variety of verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant increase'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with sentence structure, such as run-on sentences and fragments (e.g., 'it increased by 1980 after it decreased that it reached'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capital letters and incorrect comma usage. The range of structures is limited, relying mostly on simple sentences that lack the complexity required for higher bands. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and using correct punctuation to separate distinct ideas.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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