Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates about figures of jobs in four different fields in us economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing sector created 15 million job in starting year and reached on peak in next 20 years after peak time it's figure steadily fall down. Healthcare and retail sectors showed significant increase in whole period while, agriculture field considerably lose employment opportunities.
To begin, in 1960 manufacturing sector started from 15 millions job vacancies and reached to 20 millions in 1980 after own word jobs figure declined steadily and fall under 15 millions in 2020. Retail and agriculture generated same number of jobs in 1960 approximately 6 millions while in next period retail sharply rose and in last year just above then 15 millions jobs were available in this field. The agriculture sector go down continuously and reached under 5 million in the end of period. Healthcare took start just over 1 million in 1960 after dramatically growth almost 16 millions jobs were generated till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the rise in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped. While you mention the peak of the manufacturing sector, you could improve by more clearly contrasting the long-term growth of healthcare against the decline of agriculture. Some data points are slightly imprecise, such as stating the manufacturing sector reached 20 million in 1980 when the graph shows it peaking earlier. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed from the graph and that the overview provides a more comprehensive summary of the overall trends rather than just listing individual sector movements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin' and 'while', which help the flow. However, the transition between ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'after own word jobs figure'. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. Improving the logical progression between sentences will help the reader follow your analysis more smoothly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to describe trends like 'significantly increase' and 'dramatically growth'. However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'illustrates about figures' (should be 'illustrates the figures') and 'dramatically growth' (should be 'dramatic growth'). You also rely on basic verbs like 'go down' and 'took start'. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'a downward trend', and pay closer attention to the correct form of words (e.g., adjectives vs. nouns).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in us economy'), verb tenses ('agriculture field considerably lose'), and sentence construction ('after own word jobs figure declined'). Some sentences are fragmented or lack necessary prepositions, which occasionally impedes the flow of information. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practicing complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions, will also help you demonstrate a wider grammatical range while maintaining accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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