Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates figure of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors in united state economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Retail and Healthcare sectors showed steady rose in job opportunities and agriculture field gradually dropped throughout period. In starting years manufacturing follow go up trend while, after peak it showed significant decreased in jobs.

To begin, the manufacturing sector generated 15 millions jobs in 1960 and reached to highest point in 1980 20 millions. The retail and agriculture gave almost 6 millions jobs in starting years and in next years 20 years retail go up steadily and the agriculture showed go down trend. The healthcare jobs were least in numbers approximately 2.5 millions jobs were available in 1960 and in 1980 this sector grow up and reached to 5 millions jobs.

In 2000 and 2020 manufacturing sector lose sharply job vacancies in end of time less then 15 millions jobs left in this field while, retail and healthcare showed significant rose in job availabilities and reached almost 16 millions in last year. The agriculture field stayed stable after 1980 and after 2000 it again decreased slightly 2.5 millions jobs were in this sector at end of period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the rise in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is somewhat mechanical and lacks a clear synthesis of the data. While the main features are reported, some data points are imprecise (e.g., 'reached to highest point in 1980 20 millions'). The description of the trends is generally accurate, but the lack of a more sophisticated summary of the overall shifts between 1960 and 2020 prevents it from reaching a higher band. The response addresses the requirements of the task but could benefit from more precise data reporting and a more cohesive overview.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is often repetitive or mechanical, such as the frequent use of 'and' to link clauses. Transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt, and the progression of ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition between the manufacturing trends and the retail/agriculture trends in the third paragraph is disjointed. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal cohesion within paragraphs needs more variety and better control to improve the flow of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks range and precision. The student relies on basic verbs like 'go up', 'go down', and 'grow up' rather than more academic alternatives such as 'fluctuated', 'declined', or 'experienced a steady increase'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'follow go up trend' and 'lose sharply job vacancies'. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary and the frequent errors in word formation and collocation restrict the score. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include missing articles ('in united state economy'), incorrect verb forms ('manufacturing sector lose sharply'), and awkward phrasing ('reached to highest point'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be distracting. The student needs to focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and the accurate application of tense when describing historical data.

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