Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the number of positions in four (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) sectors of the economy in the US in 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector recorded highest jobs before dropped gradually while on the other side, retail and healthcare departments experienced a gradual increase in jobs towards the end of period and maintained steadily. Meanwhile, agriculture is the only one sector which generated fewer jobs throughout the period.

In 1960, retail recorded 6 million jobs which gradually increased and in 2000 it rose to 15 millions and by the end it was nearly 16 millions. By contrast, healthcare field recorded approximately 3 millions in 1960 followed by gradual rise to 5 millions in 1980 and in 2000 dramatically climbed to nearly 11 millions and in 2020 it stood at roughly 16 millions. However, manufacturing field generated a 20 millions jobs which is the peaked among all sectors but followed by the end it gradually fell to 13 millions in 2020.

Positions in the agriculture sector was the striking case as in 1960 it recorded almost 6 millions but it gradually fell to 3 millions in 1980 and then showed fluctuations by the end of period and stood at 2 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identified the key features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the report could be improved by ensuring data points are more precise; for instance, stating 'nearly 16 millions' is acceptable, but some figures lack sufficient detail or are slightly inaccurate compared to the graph. The overview is present but could be more integrated into the introduction to provide a stronger summary of the overall trends. Overall, the task is addressed well, and the main features are highlighted effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with each focusing on specific sectors or trends. You use cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'Meanwhile', and 'However' to link ideas, which helps the flow of the text. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be smoother. For example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is functional but could be more sophisticated. The progression of ideas is generally clear, and the paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which aids the reader's understanding of the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'dramatically climbed', and 'generated'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'departments' instead of 'sectors' and 'peaked among all sectors' (should be 'peaked at'). Additionally, there are some pluralization errors, such as '15 millions' and '20 millions jobs', which are grammatically incorrect. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band score. Focusing on accurate collocations and avoiding unnecessary plurals for numbers will improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'manufacturing sector recorded highest jobs' (missing 'the'), 'only one sector which generated' (should be 'the only sector'), and 'Positions in the agriculture sector was' (subject-verb agreement error: 'were'). These errors occur frequently but do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more error-free sentences and pay closer attention to articles and subject-verb agreement. Your control of complex structures is developing, but accuracy needs to be more consistent.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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