Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the number of positions in four (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) sectors of the economy in the US from1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector recorded the highest jobs before dropping gradually while on the other side, retail and healthcare departments experienced a gradual increase in jobs towards the end of period and maintained stability. Meanwhile, the agriculture is the only sector which generated fewer jobs throughout the period.

In 1960, retail recorded 6 million jobs which gradually increased and in 2000 it rose to 15 million and by the end it was nearly 16 million. By contrast, healthcare field recorded approximately 3 million in 1960 followed by gradual rise to 5 million in 1980 and in 2000 dramatically climbed to nearly 11 million and in 2020 it stood at roughly 16 million. However, the manufacturing field generated a 20 million jobs which is the peaked among all sectors but followed by the end it gradually fell to 13 million in 2020.

Positions in the agriculture sector was the striking case as in 1960 it recorded almost 6 millions but it gradually fell to 3 millions in 1980 and then showed fluctuations by the end of period and stood at 2 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the analysis could be improved by making more direct comparisons between the sectors at specific points in time. For instance, noting that healthcare overtook manufacturing by the end of the period would strengthen the response. The data is generally accurate, though the description of the agriculture sector as having 'fluctuations' is slightly vague given the steady downward trend shown in the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'In 1960', 'By contrast', and 'However' to link ideas. While the progression is generally clear, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The paragraphing is appropriate, separating the data points effectively. To reach a higher band, ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid and that referencing (e.g., 'the end') is consistently precise to avoid ambiguity.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'recorded', 'gradually increased', and 'dramatically climbed'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'departments' instead of 'sectors' and 'the peaked' instead of 'the peak'. Additionally, there are minor issues with pluralization, such as '6 millions' and '3 millions', where the 's' should be omitted when preceded by a number. Despite these, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'the agriculture is the only sector' (remove 'the') and 'generated a 20 million jobs' (remove 'a'). Some phrasing is slightly awkward, such as 'followed by the end it gradually fell'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To improve, focus on proofreading for articles and ensuring consistent verb tense usage when describing historical data.

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