Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy in between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare department shows and upward trend in providing jobs while production sector increases till 1980 and then declined. In contrast, agriculture sector shows downward trend in terms of number of jobs.
From 1960 to 1980, retail and healthcare department contributed most in US economy. In 1960, healthcare sector produced about 6 million jobs which keep growing in two decades to almost 15million jobs in 2020. Meanwhile, healthcare department follows the same upward trend with approximately 3 million jobs in 1960 to almost 15 million jobs in 2020.
In addition, production department shows an upward trend from 1960 to 1980, providing 15 millions jobs in 1960 to 20 million jobs in 1980 and that decreases gradually to about 13 million jobs in 2020. In contrast, agriculture sector follows downward trend with 6 nearly million jobs in 1960 to almost 2 million jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, you state that the healthcare sector produced 6 million jobs in 1960, but the graph shows retail starting at a higher point, and your description of the healthcare trend is repetitive and confusing. Furthermore, you mention 'retail and healthcare' in the first paragraph, but then describe them as if they are the same entity, which obscures the data. To improve, ensure you accurately read the axes and distinguish clearly between the four distinct categories provided in the legend.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Meanwhile', and 'In addition' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by the confusion between the sectors mentioned in the feedback above. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when you refer to 'healthcare department' twice while describing different trends. The overall structure is functional, but the internal logic needs to be more precise to achieve a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'downward trend', and 'contributed'. However, there is some repetition of basic phrases. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'retail and healthcare department shows and upward trend' (should be 'show an upward trend'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on simple descriptors. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and ensure precise terminology when referring to economic sectors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentences. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('retail and healthcare department shows') and awkward phrasing ('6 nearly million jobs'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are minor slips throughout the text. While the errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the general message, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on proofreading for articles (a/an/the) and pluralization would help improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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