Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The multi-line graph illustrates the financial system in the US, about the number of jobs in various sectors within the frame time from year 1960 and 2020. The x-axis shows the years while the y-axis shows jobs in millions.

Overall, it is clear that Manufacturing and Healthcare have the largest gap in business world. They both are in the opposite direction whereas Retail and Agriculture are starts some close to each other.

Furthermore, In year 1960, Manufacturing positions started from 15 million and in 1980 these also approached to 20 million but after that there is a huge decrease in line which ended to 12 million.

On the other hand, Healthcare increased their employment career from 2 to 15.5 million which is enormous achievement. Retail and Agriculture

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement. Furthermore, the response is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence ('Retail and Agriculture'). While you identified some main features, such as the trends for Manufacturing and Healthcare, the lack of completion means that the data for Retail and Agriculture is not reported, and no overall comparison is fully developed. To improve, ensure you provide a complete overview of all data points and meet the length requirement to allow for a full analysis of the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear structure due to its incomplete nature. While there is an attempt at an introduction and an overview, the body paragraphs are not fully formed. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the abrupt ending prevents a logical flow of information. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that you complete your thoughts before moving to the next point. Proper paragraphing is essential for a coherent response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. Phrases like 'financial system' are inaccurate in this context, as the graph depicts employment sectors. There is also some awkward phrasing, such as 'employment career' and 'huge decrease in line'. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'declined steadily', and ensure your word choices accurately reflect the subject matter of the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains several grammatical errors that hinder clarity. Examples include 'Retail and Agriculture are starts some close to each other' (incorrect verb form and word order) and 'Healthcare increased their employment career' (incorrect pronoun usage). There is a limited range of complex structures, and the existing sentences often contain errors in tense or subject-verb agreement. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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