Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This line chart illustrates the information about counting of jobs in four various sectors of US economy during 1960 to 2020
In general, retail industry were increased rapidly. Whereas, agriculture were the lowest contribution to the US economy
It is lucid that healthcare sector were generated lowest jobs in the initial year. On the other hand, Manufacturing were highest in the same year. While, agriculture and retail were at the same point just a bit above from 5 million jobs in 1960. From that point, agriculture industry started decreasing gradually and were lowest in the last year approximately two and half millions jobs left
Moving towards the remaining data, from 1980, retail industry and healthcare sector started growing rapidly and were nearby 15 million jobs in both till 2020. In contrast, manufacturing were placed at top then downfall in manufacturing industry were begun. it sharply decreased to below 15 million jobs in the US economy
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, such as the trends in the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identified the starting and ending points, the description of the trends lacks precision. For example, stating that the retail industry 'increased rapidly' is vague without referencing the specific data points or the scale of change. Additionally, there are some inaccuracies in the data interpretation, such as the claim that healthcare generated the lowest number of jobs in the initial year, which is not clearly supported by the visual evidence. To improve, ensure you provide more specific data comparisons and a clearer overview of the overall trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. Phrases like 'Moving towards the remaining data' and 'In contrast' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is often disjointed. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help create a smoother progression of ideas. The paragraphing is present but could be more effectively used to separate the overview from the detailed analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'generated', and 'decreased'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'counting of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs' and 'downfall in manufacturing industry were begun'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'. Additionally, ensure that you use nouns and verbs correctly in context to avoid awkward phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail industry were increased', 'healthcare sector were generated', 'manufacturing were highest'). These errors are persistent and sometimes impede the clarity of your message. The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and punctuation. Try to incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or participial phrases, while ensuring that your grammar remains accurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.