Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line chart illustrates the details about the United States's economy activities in the job market from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, at the beginning, manufacturing induststry was the most job created industry, while healthcare was the least popular. Over the period the trend had changed to healthcare and retail, which were the most demanded job created industry, and agriculture was the most under rated.
Regarding manufacturing and reatail, in 1960, 15 millions jobs were created in manufacturing sector. It peaked at 20 millions jobs in 1980 and declined the demand constently untile approximately 13 miliions in 2020. Retail industry had rose drasticly and overtook the maufacturing in 2005 and reached to the highest position above the 15 minllions at the end of the 2020.
Healthcare was the lowest popular industry in 1960 and it passed the all the industries and came to the top end of the 2020 which was nearly 17 millions, In contrast, agriculture industry declined the number of jobs over the period and recored the lowest ever level of 2 millions end of the 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response successfully identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You have highlighted the key shifts, such as the rise of healthcare and retail and the decline of agriculture and manufacturing. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating 'above the 15 millions' is vague, and the figures for 1960 are not fully accurate based on the graph. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are cited with greater precision and that comparisons between sectors are more explicitly linked to the specific years provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, and you have used some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'Regarding'. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'at the beginning' or 'at the top end of the 2020'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the trends more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, using terms like 'illustrates', 'peaked', 'declined', and 'overtook'. However, there are several spelling errors ('induststry', 'reatail', 'maufacturing', 'constently', 'recored') and some awkward word choices, such as 'lowest popular' instead of 'least popular' and 'job created industry'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on accurate spelling and using more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'downward trend' or 'significant growth'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing sector'), pluralization ('15 millions jobs'), and verb tense/form ('had rose', 'declined the demand'). Some sentences are slightly ungrammatical, such as 'it passed the all the industries'. These errors occur throughout the text and occasionally impede the flow of reading. Increasing your control over basic grammar and sentence construction will help improve your score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.