Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph depicts the information of numbers of jobs in four different sectors of US from 1960 to 2020.

It is clear that jobs in manufacturing were the highest and the jobs in agriculture were the lowest in numbers.

In 1980,the numbers of jobs had reached their peak point was 20 million but at the same time jobs numbers in retail and agriculture were 10 million and 3 million simultaneously. While for the healthcare the jobs numbers were 5 million.

In 2000 there was a dramatic change in numbers of jobs in manufacturing was 16 million and for retail was 15 million which was quite near to it. In 2020 the manufacturing jobs were fall down and had reached 13 million while the numbers if jobs in retail and healthcare was the same which was 15 million. At the same time jobs in agriculture were the lowest was 3 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention specific years, the overview is limited, and the description of the data is occasionally inaccurate or confusing (e.g., stating manufacturing was the highest throughout, which is not fully supported by the data provided). To reach a higher band, ensure you provide a clear, concise overview of the overall trends and focus on making accurate comparisons between the sectors throughout the period, rather than just listing figures for specific years.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited and repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'In [year]'. Some sentences are disjointed, making the flow of information feel a bit choppy. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly, such as 'In contrast,' 'Subsequently,' or 'Meanwhile,' and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic phrasing like 'numbers of jobs' and 'highest/lowest'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'jobs numbers were 5 million' and 'manufacturing jobs were fall down'. To improve, incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends and data, such as 'fluctuated,' 'declined steadily,' 'surpassed,' or 'remained constant.' Expanding your range of descriptive verbs and nouns will help you convey the information more professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the numbers if jobs' (preposition error), 'the manufacturing jobs were fall down' (incorrect verb tense/structure), and 'the jobs in agriculture were the lowest was 3 million' (run-on/faulty structure). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms to enhance the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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