Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph shows the information about the number of jobs in 4 sectors of the economy in the US bet from 1960 to 2020. Overall, healthcare and retail sector has got a drastic increase in economy from 1960 to 2020. However, Agriculture sector remain declined economy throughout the years.
In 1960, it can be seen that manufacturing jobs were the highest economical sector from all the other sectors and it was started from 15 million and had a arosed peak in 1980 it was 20 million jobs, Although, it started declining from that period and now its approximately between 10 to 15 million jobs. Moreover the Health care sector that had lowest jobs in that time it was nearly below 5 million. Retail sector was above 5 million but show a huge increase in the following year.
In Recent 2020, the Retail and Agr Health care market achieved highest economical growth by providing jobs above 15 million. further More it can is evident that manufacture had provided highest job in 1980 but declined also in 2020, and agriculture jobs are the lowest job providing sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have identified the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the report lacks precision. For instance, you mention manufacturing peaked in 1980 at 20 million, but the data description is often vague or inaccurate, such as stating retail was 'above 5 million' without specifying the starting point. The overview is present but could be more clearly integrated. To improve, ensure you provide specific data points to support your comparisons and avoid generalisations like 'drastic increase' without referencing the actual figures provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'further More it can is evident' and 'Although, it started declining' show a lack of control over linking words. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph where the summary of trends feels repetitive and slightly confused. Improving the variety and accuracy of transition signals will help the flow of your writing significantly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors like 'huge increase' and 'economical sector' (which is a collocation error; 'economic' or 'employment' would be more accurate). There are also issues with word choice, such as 'arosed peak' and 'Agr Health care market'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'experienced a downward trend', and ensure your collocations are natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The text contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Agriculture sector remain declined economy' (incorrect verb tense and word choice) and 'it can is evident'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors in basic sentence construction and verb agreement prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage.
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