Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Given line chart represent details regarding amount of jobs in four aspects of economy between 1960 and 2020 in the United States. Overall, it is evident that throughout this time period, average maximum jobs where in manufacturing whereas, minimum in healthcare. Also, sudden uprise is visible in retail and agriculture sector.
Initially, manufacturing field had about 15 million jobs in 1960, which then soared to 20 million in 1980. Thenafter, it continuously dipped to approximately less than 15 million in the year 2020. Secondly, in the year 1960, just above 5 million jobs were there in retail sector that gradually plummented to about a bit more than 15 million in 2020.
Simultaneously, a consequent climb was noticed in agricultural work starting with a little more than 0 million upto near 15 million in 2020. Lastly, in healthcare sector, jobs in 1960 with the count of almost 5 million was dipped to just below 5 million in 1980 and had negligible change till 2020 which than sunk a little in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in data interpretation. For instance, you describe the retail sector as having 'plummeted' to 15 million, when the graph shows a clear upward trend. Similarly, your description of the healthcare sector is confusing and contradicts the visual data, which shows a steady increase rather than a dip. While you attempt to provide an overview, the lack of precision in reporting the figures and trends prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that your summary accurately reflects the data points and trends shown in the graph, rather than misinterpreting the direction of the lines.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Initially', 'Thenafter', and 'Simultaneously' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or inappropriate for the context (e.g., 'Thenafter' is not standard English). The logical progression is occasionally hindered by the inaccurate data reporting, which makes the comparison between sectors confusing. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that the transition between paragraphs reflects a clear, logical grouping of the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. You use some topic-specific terms like 'manufacturing', 'retail', and 'agricultural', but there are errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'sudden uprise' (should be 'sharp rise') and 'plummented' (which is misspelled and used incorrectly to describe an upward trend). There are also instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'average maximum jobs where in'. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to describing trends, such as 'witnessed a steady increase' or 'experienced a significant decline', and pay closer attention to spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as 'Given line chart represent' (missing articles and subject-verb agreement), 'jobs... was dipped' (incorrect passive voice), and 'upto near 15 million' (incorrect preposition usage). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure is often repetitive. To improve, work on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and the consistent use of passive voice when describing data trends. Reviewing basic sentence construction will help reduce the frequency of these errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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