Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates information about the total number of jobs in 4 different sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data is calculated in millions.

Overall, its is clear that maximum number of jobs was in manufacturing during starting years whereas, by the end retail and healthcare was at the peak level.

Looking first at manufacturing and retail sectors, it is evident that in 1960 highest number of jobs was in manufacturing, witnessed at 15 millions and about 6 million jobs in retail sector, after 20 years dramatic increase was noticed in both sectors 20 million jobs in first sector and 10 million jobs in second sector. By the end of year jobs in manufacturing reduced up to 13 million whereas retail industry jobs was increased, which was 16 million.

The number of jobs in agriculture keeps on declining year after year starting from 6 million jobs during 1960 to 3 million jobs in 2020. Healthcare sector was at the lowest level during starting few years but by the end of year highest number of jobs was in this sectors, which was about 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. You successfully highlight the decline in agriculture and the rise of the healthcare and retail sectors. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped; while you mention the 'peak level' for retail and healthcare, you could have more clearly contrasted the overall shift from manufacturing dominance to service-sector dominance. Additionally, some data points are slightly imprecise, such as describing the manufacturing peak as '15 millions' when the graph shows it closer to 20 million in 1980. To improve, ensure your data extraction is precise and your overview provides a more comprehensive summary of the major shifts observed across the entire timeframe.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Looking first at' and 'By the end of year', to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions are slightly awkward, such as 'after 20 years dramatic increase was noticed'. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, for example, 'in first sector' and 'in second sector' could be more explicitly linked to the previously mentioned nouns. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your referencing is precise to improve the overall flow of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'witnessed', 'dramatic increase', and 'declining'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'at the peak level' (should be 'peaked') and 'reduced up to' (should be 'decreased to'). There are also minor errors in pluralization, such as '15 millions' instead of '15 million'. To improve, focus on using more precise reporting verbs and nouns, and ensure you are using the correct forms of numbers and units. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally affect clarity. For example, 'its is clear' (typo), 'maximum number of jobs was in manufacturing' (missing article), and 'by the end of year' (missing article). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'in this sectors'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are frequent enough to limit the score. To improve, proofread your work specifically for articles (a/an/the) and ensure that your verb tenses are consistent when describing past trends.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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