Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The comparison between the number of job opportunities generated in the four sectors of economy in the United States from the year 1960 to 2020 has been illustrated by the linear graph. The data has been calibrated in numbers.
In an overview, it is crystal clear that the production units witnessed a significant number of employment opportunities while the lowest number of jobs have were observed in the agriculture sector over the period of six decades.
Looking at the details, it can be clearly observed that the retail sector as well as the healthcare sector has experienced an upward trend throughout the given period while dressing an identical number of jobs in the year 2020 which were approximately 16 millions. The number of employment opportunities in the year 1960 healthcare sector were recorded at around 2 millions whereas it surged by almost 4 millions in terms of retail sector in the year 1960. After 2 decades, the retail units and healthcare sector has experienced an upward trend. Over the period of next 20 years , the number of jobs in retail sector has escalated by 5 millions. however , the job opportunities in healthcare sector rose by approximately 6 millions.
Probing ahead towards rest of the details , a downward trend has been observed in the number of jobs in agriculture sector , commencing with around 6 millions in the year 1960 whereas it tumbled to approximately 3.5 millions in the year 1980 and it remained constant over the period of next twenty years . In contrast , it has witnessed a slight decline of 0.10 millions in the year 2020 whereas 15 million jobs were generated in the manufacturing sector in the year 1960 while reaching
at its peak with 20 millions after the period of 2 decades . However , the jobs in the production sector of economy tumbled to 13 millions in the year 2020 .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the upward trajectory of retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the reporting of data is occasionally imprecise or confusing, such as the claim that manufacturing reached its peak 'after the period of 2 decades' without specifying the date, or the slightly awkward phrasing regarding the 2020 figures. While the overview is present, the selection of data points could be more strategic to highlight the most significant changes rather than listing every minor fluctuation. Overall, the response provides a clear summary of the main features as required by the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used throughout, such as 'In an overview', 'Looking at the details', and 'In contrast'. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'Probing ahead towards rest of the details'. Referencing is generally clear, but the connection between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall readability and logical progression of the information.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts to use topic-specific language like 'upward trend', 'escalated', 'tumbled', and 'employment opportunities'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'dressing an identical number of jobs' (likely meant 'representing') and 'calibrated in numbers'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise vocabulary usage. The student demonstrates a sufficient range to convey the main points, but lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the lowest number of jobs have were observed') and punctuation errors (spaces before commas). Tense usage is generally consistent, but there are minor slips, such as 'the retail sector as well as the healthcare sector has experienced' (should be 'have experienced'). While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of the data. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on reducing these frequent minor errors and improving punctuation accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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