Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the amount of jobs in the economy of America in for different sectors from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, 1980, depicted the highest number of jobs in manufacturing, whilst least was seen in agriculture sector in 2020. Moreover, jobs in retail and health sector surged dramatically throughout the givern time period.

In 1960, maximum number of jobs were in

manufacturing sector at 15 million jobs, followed by retail and agriculture at around 6 million jobs. Conversely, jobs in healthcare was minimum at nearly 3 milllion jobs. In 1980, manufacturing sector stood as the highest number of job provider at 20 million jobs, and jobs soared in retail at 10 million jobs, while declined in agriculture at 5 million jobs. Furthermore, by 2000, plummet of roughly 3 million jobs were witnessed in manufacturing sector. However, jobs in retail and healthcare sector increased massively to 15 and 11 million jobs, whilst jobs in agriculture plateaued at almost 3 million dollars. In contrast, both retail and healthcare sector surpassed the agriculture and became the maximum number of job provider by 2020, at almost 16 million jobs. Lasty, least jobs were witnessed in agriculture sector at nearly 2 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all parts of the task, identifying key trends and making relevant comparisons. You successfully highlighted the growth in retail and health sectors versus the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly confusing; mentioning specific years like '1980' in the overview is less effective than describing the overall trends. Additionally, there is a factual error where you mention '3 million dollars' instead of '3 million jobs' when describing the agriculture sector. While the main features are reported, the analysis could be more precise in its grouping of data to better highlight the shifting dominance of the sectors over the 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'conversely', 'furthermore', and 'in contrast' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'plummet of roughly 3 million jobs were witnessed'. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences in the second body paragraph is somewhat repetitive in structure. Improving the variety of linking phrases would help the progression of ideas feel more natural and sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'surged', 'plateaued', and 'witnessed'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'givern time period' (typo), 'maximum number of job provider' (should be 'the largest job provider'), and the confusing reference to '3 million dollars' instead of 'jobs'. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, these slips occasionally hinder precision. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations more accurately and ensuring that the terminology used is consistent with the data provided in the prompt.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'jobs in healthcare was minimum' (subject-verb agreement), 'amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs'), and 'Lasty' (spelling). Additionally, some sentences are slightly awkward, such as '1980, depicted the highest number of jobs'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency. Increasing the number of error-free sentences and focusing on subject-verb agreement will help improve your score in this criterion.

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