Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line chart illustrates the employment figures around four different sectors : Manufucaturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare of the economy in America from 1960 and 2020, in millions.
Overall, over the six decaded, a dramatic rise was watnessed in number of jobs in both Retail and Healthcare sector, where Healthcare sector grew most prominently. However, Manufacturing saw initial growth, later a steady decline, whilst Agriculture decliened in first decade and then plateaued.
The Manufacturing sector provided the maximum number of jobs in 1960 at 15 million, later in 1980 it experienced a peak of 20 million jobs. Conversely, in later time period it decline steadily and reached at roughly 13 million jobs by 2020. However, number of jobs in retail sector starting at nearly 6 million surged significantly throughout the six decded, where it surpassed Manufacturing around last decade and reached at almost 16 million jobs by 2020. In contrast, jobs in the Agriculture sector declined slightly to 3 million jobs in 1980, and than it plateaued at around 3 million. Lastly, the Healthcare sector starting at a least of 2 million jobs, soared massively throughout the six decades, surpassing Manufacturing and reached at approximately 16 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all requirements of the task. You have successfully identified the main trends and provided data to support your descriptions. The overview clearly highlights the divergent paths of the four sectors, which is a key requirement for a high score. You have made relevant comparisons, such as noting when the retail sector surpassed manufacturing. To improve, ensure that all data points are accurate; for instance, ensure the distinction between the peak of manufacturing and its final 2020 figure is clearly articulated. Overall, the response is well-focused and addresses the prompt effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs that group information effectively. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'conversely', 'however', and 'in contrast' to signal shifts in the narrative. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions could be more sophisticated to avoid a slightly mechanical feel. The referencing is clear, and the progression of ideas from the overview to the specific details is logical and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends accurately, using terms like 'surged', 'plateaued', and 'prominently'. However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'Manufucaturing', 'decaded', 'watnessed', and 'decliened'. These errors are noticeable but do not impede the reader's understanding of the data. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise collocations and ensure consistent accuracy in spelling. The use of 'soared massively' is a good example of descriptive language, but ensure that your word choices remain formal and appropriate for an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use complex sentences to describe trends, there are recurring grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'in number of jobs', 'in retail sector') and prepositions (e.g., 'reached at'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and tense inconsistencies. While these errors do not prevent the meaning from being clear, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. To improve, focus on proofreading for small grammatical slips and ensure that your use of articles and prepositions is consistent with standard English usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.
