Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart demonstrates the average of employment in distinct sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The four sectors of US for jobs have been mentioned here: manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.
Firstly, In manufacturing sector, there were a wide range of employments. About 15 millions individual were working in 1960. But unfortunately, the number of jobs declined in this sector nearly 12 million in 2020.
After that, in retail sector, the employments were also at 5 million in 1960. Then the employment rose to 15 million in 2020 in retail sector.
Next, agriculture sector, which plays substantial role in the economy of every country. In 1960, 6 millions individual were working in the fields but US face drastically drop in the agriculture to 2 million in 2020.
Lastly, in healthcare sector, there were a small proportion of employments about 2 million in 1960. But gradually escalated to 15 million in 2020.
Hence, all four sectors facilitated many individuals in this time period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is missing; a summary should highlight the most significant changes, such as the shift from manufacturing/agriculture to service-based sectors like healthcare and retail. The data reporting is generally accurate, but the inclusion of subjective commentary, such as 'unfortunately' regarding manufacturing and the unnecessary explanation of agriculture's importance, detracts from the objective tone required for Academic Task 1. To improve, focus on comparing the sectors rather than listing them individually, and ensure a clear overview is provided in the introduction or conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive, relying heavily on simple transition words like 'Firstly', 'After that', 'Next', and 'Lastly'. The progression of ideas is logical, but the lack of sophisticated linking phrases makes the flow feel a bit disjointed. To reach a higher band, try to integrate sentences more fluidly and use a wider variety of cohesive devices to show the relationship between the data points, such as 'In contrast to' or 'Conversely'.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe the trends clearly. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'average of employment' instead of 'employment levels' and 'facilitated many individuals' which is not the most natural collocation. The range is somewhat limited, with repetitive use of 'employment' and 'sector'. To improve, incorporate more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant surge', and ensure that nouns and verbs are used in their correct collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as '15 millions individual' (should be '15 million individuals') and 'US face drastically drop' (should be 'the US faced a drastic drop'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in article usage and pluralization throughout. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage (past tense for the period 1960-2020) will help improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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